We have spent much time in recent issues exploring the deeper aspects of the Course by discussing the basic foundations of A Course in Miracles® that proclaims the absolute unreality of matter including the illusionary world and us as separate individuals. Sometimes in discussing lofty abstract-ional concepts or ultimate realizations we lose sight of the practical benefits of forgiveness here and now in our everyday life. The theatrical statement that "this world is illusion and as nothing has ever happened, there can be nothing to forgive", is of little help to the person struggling with some perceived injustice in his life and the world he sees around him. The ego's resistance to accepting this principle is enormous because of it's all embracing implications. The concept of victims and victimizers is essential to keep the ego's thought system intact, as without it, all would be love. The victimhood principle is an attack on love because you cannot have victims without seeing other brothers as victimizers. The entire ego thought system depends on the unholy trinity of sin, guilt and fear so that the separation remains unchallenged. That is why the idea of forgiveness would never enter the ego mind.

Forgiveness is acquired. It is not inherent in the mind, which cannot sin. As sin is an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself, Who represents the other Self in you. W-pI.121.6.

The practice of forgiveness is the constant theme taught by A Course in Miracles® as a shortcut method of awakening from the dream of separation. It is not some optional choice for a student of the Course. Without forgiveness, A Course in Miracles® would be completely impotent. Much more time is spent in the Course addressing the reasons why we are mostly in pain here in our daily lives and much less on what is going on in Heaven which it says our convoluted minds wouldn't comprehend anyway. It simply is not possible to eventually comprehend that we are spirits and not bodies without our first working through the process of forgiveness.
We could talk about Heaven and God all day long but that would not make us ready to accept it and in this world the pain of separation will not go away unless forgiveness of everyone is completed. A quote I heard recently from Tom Gossett in Canada says it all: -"You only love God as much as the person or thing you like the least."
Everybody wants instant enlightenment and very few wants to tackle the basic groundwork of forgiveness even though that is the source of all the pain we ever had or ever will have. The Course describes the blessings that are ours for the asking. But to forgive that completely would mean the eventual loss of ego, which is not our wish. To hang on to our grievances comes at a terrible cost as the Course points out.

What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?
All this forgiveness offers you, and more. It sparkles on your eyes as you awake, and gives you joy with which to meet the day. It soothes your forehead while you sleep, and rests upon your eyelids so you see no dreams of fear and evil, malice and attack. And when you wake again, it offers you another day of happiness and peace. All this forgiveness offers you, and more. W-pI.122.1.

Forgiveness to destroy

We must first understand that forgiveness as the world sees it, is exactly the opposite of the forgiveness described in A Course in Miracles®. The world sees forgiveness as the pardoning of sins: a way of establishing my specialness as the better one who condescends to forgive the sinner of his sins out of the goodness of my heart. This procedure is called 'Forgiveness to Destroy' in the Song of Prayer. (Page 11). I may feel better momentarily when I 'forgive' in this way as my specialness is puffed up, but nothing has really changed. The sinner has merely had a reprieve because of my magnanimousness gesture but he remains as 'guilty' as he ever was. We may say we 'forgive' him but the 'sin' remains until "he meets his maker on judgment day when he will then get what is coming to him". My gesture may win me much respect as a kind and generous person improving my 'image' no end but it damns my brother, condemning him to hell.
Some years ago we had a dear friend in our discussion group who had developed aids and had turned to the Course in his final years. He loved the Course and found great comfort in its teaching particularly on the aspect of our eternal innocence and freedom from guilt. Because he had contracted the disease for someone, he still retained much anger, which was mainly suppressed but every now and then was projected to anyone handy at the time.
One night he announced to the meeting how he had an altercation with a motorist that day. He told of his driving around a corner and clipping a car that had just parked probably too close to the corner. He jumped out of the car and abused the motorist in the parked car in an angry outrage. By the time he arrived at our home he was filled with remorse at his loss of peace that day. He asked us all what he should do. Should he ring the other party or perhaps write a letter? I suggested that he might do either or do nothing. What procedures needed for his forgiveness should be left to the inner guidance of the Holy Spirit? It was our friend's problem, not the other person. Our friend rang me next morning telling me he had a letter drafted anyway and read it out to me for comment. It was a long letter but to paraphrase it's contents now several years after the event it read like this: - "I am writing this letter to tell you how sorry I am for my outburst yesterday after I collided with your parked car. I don't know what came over me and I am deeply ashamed of my performance. I hope you will forgive me." Then at the end of the letter he added almost as a postscript. But!...........If you hadn't parked so close to the corner" etc etc
I suggested that maybe it would not be prudent to send the letter right now and that he should wait a few days before sending the letter and then ask Holy Spirit what he should do. Unfortunately asking for help is rarely something we want to do when in an emotional state. The longer we wait before making that condemning phone call or writing that letter the more likely it is we will not do it. Giving people a piece of your mind takes the peace right out of yours.
I have learned long ago that putting your emotional feelings at that moment on paper is rarely the most prudent option. I am reminded of the Hollywood actress who said "I always keep love letters sent to me as one day they will keep me."

We organized a full day workshop inW Sydney years ago for Jerry Jampolsky (pictured below right) and Dianne Ciricinoni (pictured left). During one segment while Dianne was talking on the need for forgiveness, one woman stood up at the back of the room in protest at what she hearing. She told the audience of a sad story of being abandoned as a child by her mother who, after neglecting her for years, ran off with new man leaving her to be brought up by her grand parents. She angrily told us that now after years of neglect and disinterest, the mother had reappeared in her life asking for forgiveness expressing a desire for a more loving relationship between them. The daughter emphatically rejected her mother's overtures and told us all there was absolutely no way she could forgive her mother under any circumstances, as her 'crime' was totally unforgivable. There was a silent pause for a minute and Dianne replied "You don't have to forgive your mother". I was stunned, as was the whole room. "Who involved with the Course could say that." I thought. After an agonizing silence the woman responded saying with a disbelieving comment. "But, ..........wouldn't I feel better if I did." The audience burst into happy laughter. By Dianne not telling her what to do, she had answered her own question.
The most important lesson in A Course in Miracles® is arguably "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" (L 121) where it begins by describing how ugly, despairing and completely without hope, is the unforgiving mind. All the religions have advocated it and we have always known that it was desirable but nobody ever told us how to forgive until A Course in Miracles® appeared in our lives. We were even envious of some people who seemed to be born with forgiving natures. "Not so!" according to A Course in Miracles®. You must learn forgiveness despite your ego urging otherwise. I found in this exercise (1L21) for the first time a step by step process on how to forgive. The principle of bringing into your mind someone who you do not like or someone "who merely seems to irritate you" and then repaint the ugly picture you have of him letting the light envelop him completely. I wondered why as, a next step, I was asked to: -

"Try to transfer the light you learned to see around your former "enemy" to him. Perceive him now as more than friend to you, for in that light his holiness shows you your savior, saved and saving, healed and whole. Then let him offer you the light you see in him, and let your "enemy" and friend unite in blessing you with what you gave.

Now are you one with them, and they with you. Now have you been forgiven by yourself" W-pI.121.12/13

I now realize the Course is training our mind in this lesson not only to forgive those "Who have trespassed against us" but also to forgive those whom we have made idols, in our special love associations. Until we look at the full extent of all our hatred we have concealed as special love we wont be able to ask Jesus and the Holy Spirit to bring Their Divine Love into those relationships. We only are loving a false image of what we have made to satisfy our ego needs. Then in the final part of that statement in the lesson we learn that after we forgive the special hate and special love people in our lives we find out that we have been forgiven by our self.
The method advocated is the gradual changing of your image of the person with whom you are having difficulties. This is rarely achieved overnight because it is so firmly entrenched. Be gentle on yourself if you seem to fail sometimes and remember that practice makes perfect.
The Course says that our inability to forgive, is the reason for every problem we ever experience. Not that we need to stay in particularly abusing or stressful circumstances, but being physically away from the source of our grievances will not work unless forgiveness is completed. The Course says that each brother we can't forgive is just a symbol of a multitude of unforgivenesses buried in the mind.

Your brother first among them will be seen, but thousands stand behind him, and beyond each one of them there are a thousand more. Each one may seem to have a problem that is different from the rest. Yet they are solved together. And their common answer shows the questions could not have been separate.:" T-27.V.10.

There was a well known Miracle teacher and lecturer who used to take pride in telling his audience how the practice of forgiveness learnt from A Course in Miracles® had helped heal his relationship with his ex-wife. Although she lived thousands of miles away, and they met only rarely, every trace of bitterness from the divorce had now gone. They mutually supported each other and when they did meet it was more as good friends.
Then one day his son came running into see his father announcing with great joy. "Guess what, Dad, Mum is moving right across the country and is going to live in the next street." His father gave out a spontaneous response "Oh! Hell!" and instantly realized that his forgiveness was not completed but merely hidden from his conscious mind by the 'safety' of distance. Removing yourself from the apparent source of your 'pain' does nothing. It merely buries your unforgiveness to be reactivated another day.
The inability to forgive twists our thinking and distorts our view of life. There is a risk that people who cannot forgive what was seemingly done to them spend their life, from that point on, making that the theme of their life and only focus. It becomes their 'song' or 'trademark' for which they are known. It is impossible for them to spread joy. What a sorry substitute this is for the glorious realization of who they are, and who the victimizer is as well. You only need to see the mixture of sadness and anger on 'victims' and relatives of those 'victims' as they appear often on TV to see how they have removed themselves from feelings of joy and peace.

Not forgiving keeps us Separate

Why on earth do we choose to be victims and see victims everywhere when it only results in pain to us and all who come into contact with us? The reason for this discomfort like every other discomfort is our desire to be separate from our brothers and from God: The desire to be special is more important to us than being forgiving. Seeing ourselves as victims is an another triumph for the ego and we imagine we have usurped God once again. When we judge others as guilty we have chosen to be right, rather than happy once again. How could it possibly be worth the cost?
Forgiveness is a tool for all of us to find peace and finally see only a forgiven world. Worrying about when we can reach that state is a useless exercise and not helpful while we are in a despairing state in our lives right now. We can find peace and happiness here on earth right now through the constant practice of forgiveness.

Your brother's sinlessness is given you in shining light, to look on with the Holy Spirit's vision and to rejoice in along with Him. For peace will come to all who ask for it with real desire and sincerity of purpose, shared with the Holy Spirit and at one with Him on what salvation is. Be willing, then, to see your brother sinless, that Christ may rise before your vision and give you joy. And place no value on your brother's body, which holds him to illusions of what he is. It is his desire to see his sinlessness, as it is yours. And bless the Son of God in your relationship, nor see in him what you have made of him". T-20.VIII.3.

What would we present to the world: The grievous face of condemnation or the joyous face of forgiveness? I think it was Bill Thetford who once said "You only have two choices: Forgive now, or forgive later". How long we want to stay in pain, is up to us.

Bill McDonald 1997