We have spent much time in recent issues exploring the deeper aspects of the Course by discussing the basic foundations of A Course in Miracles® that proclaims the absolute unreality of matter including the illusionary world and us as separate individuals.
Sometimes in discussing lofty abstractional concepts or ultimate realizations we lose sight of the practical benefits forgiveness can give us here and now in our everyday life. The thetical conclusion that "this world is illusion and as nothing has ever happened, consequently there can be nothing to forgive", is of little help to the student struggling with some perceived injustice in his life and the world he sees around him. The ego's resistance to accepting this principle is enormous because of it's all embracing implications. The idea that there can be victims is essential to keep the ego's thought system intact as without them, all would be love and the ego would be 'out of business'. The idea of victimhood is an attack on love because you cannot have victims without seeing other brothers as victimizers. The idea of forgiveness could never enter the ego mind as the whole ego thought system depends on the unholy trinity of sin, guilt and fear keeping the separation intact.
According to the Course our physical senses tells us lies to conform to what we want to believe, so when we see evidence of victims all around us our ideas of separation are reinforced. That is why it is not easy to fully accept the Course's statement that "Everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked." T-21.II.2.
But for that statement to be true, both victims and victimizers must be mutually playing out their roles as part of their script for their life here on earth for the purposes they themselves have chosen, like roles in a movie. This concept is totally unacceptable to those who prefer to remain in that painful state of unforgiveness. However Jesus is very patient and says gently in the Course that while we do "have a great tolerance for pain but that is not without limit" and we will eventually ask for another way and that way is forgiveness T-2.III.3. Only after the constant practice of forgiveness to correct our misperception of others, can we realize that everyone is living out his life exactly as he is asking for it to be and judgment of choices made by others in a dream is meaningless.
The practice of forgiveness is the constant theme taught by A Course as a method to hasten our awakening from the dream of separation. It is not some optional choice for a student of the Course. Without forgiveness, A Course in Miracles® would be completely impotent. Much more time is spent in the Course addressing the reasons why we are mostly in pain here in our daily lives and much less on what is going on in Heaven which it says our convoluted minds couldn't understand anyway. It is not possible to eventually comprehend that we are spirits and not bodies without our first working through the process of forgiveness. Remaining in a state of despair bemoaning why we are not yet ready for Heaven denies us the joy that forgiveness offers us in our life here and now.

"Let me forgive and be happy". W-pI.64.6.

Talking about Heaven all day long will not prepare us to accept it as our natural state until we ready ourselves for it through forgiveness. Everybody wants instant enlightenment and nobody wants to tackle the basic groundwork of forgiveness even though that is the source of all the pain we ever had or ever will have.
The glorious realization of who we are, and the immeasurable blessings that would flow forever from that realization could be ours at any instant we choose. However we must cognizant of our enormous (though insane) investment in the separation and our ego's need to maintain a sense of our own specialness. To forgive finally, everything and everybody, would require the willingness to give up the ego altogether, which we would not choose, while our mind is in a wrong-minded state even though hanging on to our grievances comes at a terrible cost. It is not a worthy pastime trying to evaluate our progress in the meantime as for most of us, total relinquishment of the ego would not be an easy task, nor quickly attained, while we have so much investment in identifying with it. However every sincere attempt at true forgiveness (performing Miracles) no matter how apparently small, makes us feel so much lighter, more joyous and more aware of our true identity as Sons of God right now in this world while preparing our mind in manageable chunks to make that final decision to awaken forever.

"What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?
All this forgiveness offers you, and more. It sparkles on your eyes as you awake, and gives you joy with which to meet the day. It soothes your forehead while you sleep, and rests upon your eyelids so you see no dreams of fear and evil, malice and attack. And when you wake again, it offers you another day of happiness and peace. All this forgiveness offers you, and more." W-pI.122.1.

Forgiveness to destroy

We must first understand that forgiveness, as the world sees it, is exactly the opposite of the forgiveness described in A Course in Miracles. The world sees forgiveness as the pardoning of sins: a way of establishing my specialness as the better one who condescends to forgive the sinner of his sins out of the goodness of my heart. This procedure is called 'Forgiveness to Destroy' in the Song of Prayer. (Page 11). I may feel better momentarily when I 'forgive' in this way as my specialness is puffed up, but nothing has really changed. The sinner has merely had a reprieve because of my 'magnanimousness' gesture but he remains as 'guilty' as he ever was. We may say we 'forgive' him but the 'sin' remains, until "he meets his maker on judgment day, when he will then get what is coming to him". My gesture may win me much respect as a kind and generous person improving my 'image' no end but it damns my brother, condemning him to 'hell'.
Some years ago a man who had developed aids joined our discussion group. He had turned to the Course for help with his grievances in his final years and kept coming to the group until he was too sick to attend. He grew to love the Course and found great comfort in its teachings, particularly the aspect of our unalterable innocence and freedom from guilt. In view of what was happening to him and because in his eyes, he had contracted the disease from someone, he understandably still retained much anger. Most of the time he suppressed this, but every now and then his anger was projected on to anyone handy at the time.
One night he announced to the meeting how he had an altercation with a motorist that day. He told of his driving around a corner and just clipping the edge of a car that had just parked probably too close to the corner. He jumped out of the car and abused the motorist in the parked car in an angry outrage. By the time he arrived at our home he was filled with remorse at his loss of peace that day. He asked us all what he should do. Should he ring the other party or perhaps write a letter? I suggested that he might do either or do nothing. Forgiveness was only really necessary in his mind. What flowed from that forgiveness should be left to the inner guidance of the Holy Spirit. Nevertheless our friend rang me next morning telling me he had a letter drafted anyway and read it out to me for comment. It was a long letter but to paraphrase it's contents now several years after the event it read like this: - "I am writing this letter to let you know how sorry I am for my outburst yesterday after I collided with your parked car. I don't know what came over me and I am deeply ashamed of my performance. I hope you will forgive me." Then at the end of the letter he added almost as a postscript. But!...........If you hadn't parked so close to the corner" etc etc
I suggested that maybe it would not be appropriate to send the letter right now but suggested he wait a few days before sending the letter and ask again what he should do. Forgiveness to destroy would hardly be advice received from the Holy Spirit. I have learned long ago that putting your attack thoughts of that moment in a letter is rarely the most prudent option. Giving people a piece of your mind eventually takes peace right out of your mind too.

We organised a full day workshop in Sydney years ago for Jerry Jampolsky and Diane Cirincione. During one segment while Dianne was talking on the need for forgiveness, one woman stood up at the back of the room in protest at what she was hearing. She told the audience a sad story of being abandoned as a child by her mother who, after neglecting her for years, ran off with new man leaving her to be brought up by her grand parents. She angrily told us that now after years of disinterest, the mother had now reappeared in her life asking for forgiveness and expressing a desire for them both to start anew in a more loving relationship. The daughter emphatically rejected her mother's overtures and told us all, there was absolutely no way she could forgive her mother under any circumstances, as her 'sin' was totally unforgivable. There was a silent pause for a minute and Diane replied "You don't have to forgive your mother" I was stunned as was everybody in the room. I was thinking: "Who involved with A Course in Miracles® could say that."
After an agonizing silence the woman responded with incredulous disbelief. "But," She stammered "wouldn't I feel better if I did?" The audience burst into relieved and joyous laughter. Diane, by refraining from telling her what to do, had given the daughter the opportunity of answering her own question, which is the only answer we ever accept.
One of the most important lesson in A Course in Miracles is arguably "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" (L 121) where it begins by describing how ugly, despairing and completely without hope, is the unforgiving mind. All the religions have praised the healing nature of forgiveness and we have always known that it was desirable but nobody ever told us how to do it until A Course in Miracles appeared in our lives. We were even envious of some people who seemed to be born with forgiving natures. A Course in Miracles states otherwise. Forgiveness must be learnt despite the ego urging otherwise.

"Forgiveness is acquired. It is not inherent in the mind, which cannot sin. As sin is an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself, Who represents the other Self in you." W-pI.121.6.

The exercise in lesson 121 shows us for the first time a step by step process on how to forgive. The principle of bringing into your mind someone who you do not like or someone "who merely seems to irritate you" and then repaint the ugly picture you have of him letting the light envelop him completely.....And then:-

"Look at this changed perception for a while, and turn your mind to one you call a friend. Try to transfer the light you learned to see around your former "enemy" to him. Perceive him now as more than friend to you, for in that light his holiness shows you your savior, saved and saving, healed and whole.
Then let him offer you the light you see in him, and let your "enemy" and friend unite in blessing you with what you gave. Now are you one with them, and they with you. Now have you been forgiven by yourself" W-pI.121.12/13

Initially I wondered why I was including "One I call a friend" when I thought that all I needed was to change my perception about my "former enemy" with whom I was having difficulties. I now realize the Course is teaching us also in this lesson not only to forgive those "Who have trespassed against us" but also those whom we have made idols of in our special love associations. In the text we learnt that special love is really only a cover hiding special hate. We only are loving a false image of what we have made to satisfy our ego needs. Once they no longer behave according to our script love quickly turns to hate. In the second section of that above quote, we learn that after we forgive the special hate and special love people in our lives we discover our own innocence.
The method advocated is the gradual changing of your image of the person with whom you are having difficulties. It is not a realistic expectation that total forgiveness of everyone be achieved overnight because it is so firmly entrenched but each time we make the effort we are making progress. If you seem to fail sometimes just remember practice makes perfect. Be gentle on yourself. The time you take to learn the lessons of forgiveness is left to you.
I had a practical lesson in forgiveness years ago when Pam and I were preparing a program for a weekend ACIM® workshop the next day. We had been involved in the Course for only a couple of years at that time and our eldest daughter being a high achieving, ambitious girl herself had become somewhat disappointed and disoriented by my switch from being a successful businessman to someone now growing intensely interested in a spiritual pathway. We had a good relationship overall but being similar in personality there were times when we clashed. Such a clash occurred that night and she became so upset she slammed the door and ran up to her bedroom leaving me feeling very guilty and depressed. "How on earth can I talk about forgiveness and peace tomorrow when I have such disharmony in my own house." I thought. Pam and I were in our study with the door closed as I pondered what I should do bring peace to an unpleasant situation. The first thought to enter my mind was to go up to see Tracey in her room and apologize by saying it was my fault and ask for her forgiveness.
The more I thought about taking this action, the more manipulating it seemed. I even had a mental picture of her responding to my overtures with something like "Don't give me any of that 'miracle' junk." I started to remember what I had been learning in the Course. It was not Tracey's problem. It was an incorrect perception on my part. I thought of lesson 121 and started to build a much more loving picture of her in my mind. She was only 17 and not ready even to consider a thought system like A Course in Miracles. She wanted, like most people her age, to experience the world and she had every right to pursue her dream for the future. She was an active member of a service organization for young people who regularly performed good deeds for people in need. It wasn't long before I felt very proud of her as a fine unselfish person. Then as I was feeling warmly appreciative of her, Tracey had come down from her bedroom knocked on the study door, calling out in a very friendly way, "Hey Dad! Would you like a cup of tea?" Our confrontation was over as if it had never happened. I remember saying to Pam. "Boy this thought system really works." I had needed to 'do' nothing but merely to change my erroneous perception of her to a more right-minded one.
"All mistakes must be corrected at the level on which they occur." (in the mind) T-2.IV.2. There is actually nothing going on outside my mind and when I truly want love as I did then that is all I could experience.
The Course says that our inability to forgive, is the reason for every problem we ever experience. Not that we need to sacrifice by staying in a particularly abusing situation or under stressful circumstances, but being physically away from the source of our grievances will not work unless forgiveness is completed. The Course says that each brother we can't forgive is just a symbol of a multitude of unforgivenesses buried in the mind.

"Your brother first among them will be seen, but thousands stand behind him, and beyond each one of them there are a thousand more. Each one may seem to have a problem that is different from the rest. Yet they are solved together. And their common answer shows the questions could not have been separate." T-27.V.10.

There was a well known Miracle teacher and lecturer who used to take pride in telling his audience how the practice of forgiveness learnt from A Course in Miracles® had helped heal his relationship with his ex-wife. Although she lived thousands of miles away, and although they met only rarely, every trace of bitterness from the divorce seemed now gone. They mutually supported each other and when they did meet, it was more as good friends.
Then one day his son came running into see his father announcing with great joy. "Guess what, Dad, Mum is moving right across the country and is going to live in the next street." His father gave out a spontaneous response "Oh! Hell!" and instantly realized that his forgiveness was not completed but merely hidden from his conscious mind by the 'safety' of distance. . He obviously had experienced some forgiveness but his reaction to his son's statement showed him that complete forgiveness had not yet occurred.
The inability to forgive twists our thinking and distorts our view of life. There is a risk that people who cannot forgive what was seemingly done to them spend their life, from that point on, making that the theme of their life and only focus. It becomes their 'song' or 'trademark' for which they are known. It is impossible for them to spread joy. What a sorry substitute this is for the glorious realization of who they are, and who the victimizer is as well. You only need to see the mixture of sadness and anger on 'victims' and relatives of those 'victims' as they appear often on TV, sometimes years after the event, to see how they have continued to remove themselves from feelings of joy and peace.
Why on earth do we choose to be victims and see victims everywhere when it only results in pain to us and all who come into contact with us? The reason for this discomfort like every other discomfort is our desire to be separate from our brothers and from God: The desire to be special is more important to us than being forgiving. Seeing ourselves as victims is another triumph for the ego and we imagine we have usurped God. When we judge others as guilty we have chosen to be right, rather than happy once again. How could it possibly be worth the cost?
Paul Steinberg, a Miracle teacher of the seventies and early eighties who passed on in 1986 once told the story of a famous gang rape case in the seventies in the US. A young girl was brutally raped and murdered by a gang of young boys. They were all apprehended and sent for trial and pronounced guilty. They were sentenced never to be released, but even so the girl's mother protested strongly that they should have been sent to the electric chair and put to death as just punishment for ending the life of her daughter.
Her grief new no bounds particularly as it seemed that justice had not been done. The pain never seemed to leave her until one day she began to wonder how the boy's mothers were coping with the loss of their sons. They had lost their sons just as surely as she had lost her daughter. After a while she plucked up courage to go see the boys' mothers and sure enough they were in a state of grief and suffering from guilt and shame at what their sons have done. After a while they encouraged the girl's mother to go with them to visit their sons in goal. Several years had passed and the boys were by then mature men. The men were grateful she had gone to see them as that gave them the opportunity of expressing to her just how deeply remorseful they were for taking her daughter' s life in a drunken moment of youthful insanity so many years before. She began visiting the goal regularly and after getting to know them, she began to consider them as almost her own sons. They now seemed so different to the ugly picture she had painted of them during the trial. The severity of their sentences seemed inappropriate now and she started to write letters to the prison authorities pleading for leniency.
She later took up their cause by organizing petitions and worked tirelessly organizing public rallies urging the authorities to reduce the severity of their sentences. It became her life's work. Her persistence eventually won through and the governor eventually agreed to their release. She accompanied the mothers to meet the boys at the prison gate on the day they were freed and she later joined all the sons and their families in a big celebration party. There was much embracing and she experienced one of the happiest days of her life. She recounted to friends how, soon after she arrived home that day elated and more joyous than she had ever been before in her life, she experienced a vision of her daughter coming to her with arms outstretched looking very radiant saying "Thank you mother, You have learned the lesson of forgiveness, I came to teach."
Fortunately most of us do not have to cope with such an extreme case of a murdered love one. However, each error, no matter how apparently mild, needs correction in the mind.
"The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage. The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury." W-pI.21.2.
Forgiveness is a tool for all of us to find peace and finally see only a forgiven world. Worrying about when we can reach that state is a useless exercise and not helpful while we are in a despairing condition in our lives right now. We can find peace and happiness here on earth right now through the constant practice of forgiveness.
"Your brother's sinlessness is given you in shining light, to look on with the Holy Spirit's vision and to rejoice in along with Him. For peace will come to all who ask for it with real desire and sincerity of purpose, shared with the Holy Spirit and at one with Him on what salvation is. Be willing, then, to see your brother sinless, that Christ may rise before your vision and give you joy." T-20.VIII.3.
What would we present to the world: The unhappy grievous face of condemnation or the joyous and peaceful face of forgiveness? The choice is ours.

"Grievances darken your mind, and you look out on a darkened world. Forgiveness lifts the darkness, reasserts your will, and lets you look upon a world of light." W-pI.73.5.
Bill McDonald