Pre-Game
OOC Loki: I always knew I was different to the other kids, I just didn't know how.
OOC Jack: It's the wings, dude.
OOC Raven: My name is Raven.
GM: Raven Silverwolf?
OOC Raven: Funny you should mention wolves...
Game One: Stuck between two bottles of beer.
GM: What you see is a many-tentacled monster swimming towards you.
OOC Loki: Hentai!
GM: Your arm is still free, with your sword.
OOC Raven: Stab yourself!
OOC Jack: End it quickly!
Greg: I make him let go.
GM: How?
Greg: Clever ninjitsu-type moves.
Jack: Who are you fighting? Is it the French? It's always the French.
Jack: Greg, before you get knocked out again, I'm Jack. See you in a couple of days.
Caine (GM): So, has Florimel explained everything to you?
Jack: Apparently we're trapped between two mugs of beer.
Caine (GM): We don't have television in Amber.
Greg: How do you keep up with the news?
Caine (GM): We are the news.
Jack: You didn't get the world-disintegrating, rainbow-image, landing in the courtyard entry, did you? You came in on Caine's horse, unconscious.
Jack: Psychadelic warfare?
Greg: Psychadelic warfare.
GM: It's at this point you realise you're both speaking a different language. Fortunately it's the same one.
Greg: Blah-blah-blah?
Jack: Wa-ti-ni-blahblahblah.
Caine (GM): We've had a little trouble with supplies lately. We haven't had any.
Greg: No. There are no blondes on my planet.
Elektra: Never say no to a duel!
OOC Raven: Duel of Judgement?
Elektra: I hate it when the castle disappears.
Greg: What does it look like?
GM: Well, it's bipedal...
Greg: It has two penises??
Greg: How many have we killed?
Elektra: We've killed shitloads!
OOC Loki: You've killed three.
OOC Raven: Shit. That's loads.
Loki (to Caine): You're not infernal!
Loki: Don't worry. I'm an Angel of Death.
Greg: I don't believe in any of this. I think it's psychadelic warfare.
Loki: Aaah. The worst kind.
Caine (GM): Don't do that!
Loki: Sorry. It's an Angel of Death thing.
Jack: Loki! Oh, wait. I haven't been introduced to you yet.
OOC Greg: Yes you have. You were unconscious.
Elektra: Are you on this brave adventure, too?
Loki: (looks blank)
Jack: Just say yes.
Loki: Yes.
Greg: We have no red hair on my planet.
Loki: Have you ever thought about the condition of your soul?
Jack: Well used, I'd say,
Jack: There are more planes of existence than you'd be aware of. At least three or four more.
Jack: So, how's that whole angel thing working out for you?
Raven: Is he a white man?
GM (describing Caine): Yes. Well, he's kind of swarthy. I wouldn't say exactly white. He's white in the same way a dirty tablecloth is white.
GM: You notice he has a bloody stain on his shoulder.
Raven: Excellent! He's weakened.
Caine (GM): I wasn't expecting -
OOC Loki: - you to be so naked.
Raven: I'm the meanest motherfucker on this plane.
Raven: I just agreed to something. Shit.
GM: Caine not happy. Pat the horsey.
Game 2: Simultaneous facepalm.
Caine (GM): Things might get hairy.
OOC Raven: I can do hairy.
Loki: You know our Dad?
Caine: Yes.
Loki: Who is he?
Caine: His name is Random.
OOC Raven and Loki simultaneously facepalm. Shit!
Jack: Mike?
Loki: The Archangel Michael.
Jack: Oh, that Mike.
After everyone else uses their double damage or deadly damage blades to attack a demon, and the blades just glance off.
Greg: They obviously have weak blades. I have a special blade!
Loki casts his Vengeance spell, which strikes the demon with lightning.
GM: Lightning strikes it, and it bursts into flames.
Loki: Sm-iz- (pause) Hey, was that mine?
GM: Yes.
Loki: Sm-iz-ite!!
Raven can see a horde of winged creatures approaching from behind Loki, and attempts to warn him.
Raven: Bad! Bad!
Loki (strutting): That's right. I'm bad.
Loki: I sit. Meekly.
OOC Jack: Apparently you're going to inherit the Earth.
OOC Jack: But if this is the apocolypse, where are the four horseman. Oh. Yeah. Remembers that Caine, Greg, Elektra and Jack rode in on horses, heralding the start of the Chaosian attack.
Caine (GM): Loki, can you get us a car?
Jack: Can you get us a lexus?
On a phone call with the Redeemer angel Daphne.
Daphne (GM): Hi, this is Daphne.
Loki: Hey, baby.
Daphne (GM): Oh, fuck.
Loki: Yeah, that's just what I had in mind. But...
Daphne: Loki!
Later in the conversation.
Daphne (GM): Oh, God.
Loki: Hey! That's blasphemy! I could kill you for that.
Daphne (GM): Loki!
Loki: You know, I wouldn't. I mean, you could try to talk me out of killing you. You know, convince me. Maybe at 8:00 tonight. I little dinner, some wine...
Daphne hangs up.
Elektra: So, where do you come from?
Greg: My planet.
Elektra: And what is the name of your land?
Greg: I don't remember.
Much searching and rustling of paper commences as Greg's player attempts to find details of his character's background.
Greg: I tell you the name of my land.
GM: Up ahead, you see a man on the road.
OOC Greg: Run him down.
GM: He has bright red hair.
OOC all: Run him down!
Elektra: Don't worry, Loki. Greg's just... tactless.
Caine (GM): Take the next left.
Jack: Wait a minute, what do you mean the next left? There's no... Hey!
Jack finds out how cool Pattern is.
Loki: I don't really smoke, dude. Those things are killers.
Discussing the fact that Jack's mother, Flora, is really hot.
OOC Loki: Hey, if I have sex with your Mum, that makes me your Daddy!
GM (to Elektra): Your shirt is all crinkled and covered in... goo.
OOC Jack: Ewww... (brightens) Just take it off.
Game 3: Now that we're all together, let's split up.