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The gory details? Well sort of.

As I was typing away on the "Relationships" page I got to thinking that it was really only superficial anecdotal commentary, and maybe some of you want to know how things were at the next level down? I really didn't mind the telling, just the thought of one of these dear ladies taking offence and trying to sue me or something similar. I stroked my chin, scratched my head, and then came up with the idea of telling, but not associating any particular person with the facts. So what follows are the facts, but I'll leave you to guess at who the partner was....They are not in any particular sequence!

Only the basics in kinky

A number of the partners I've had have been quite adventurous.

I once tried anal with one of my partners, and neither of us would bother rushing back to do it again.

I had a few "quickies" in semi-public places. One was in the outside toilet at a grandmother's place when we went for a visit. Another was on the passenger seat in the far corner of a wayside stop on a country road. (A truck must have been able to figure that one out as he went by honking his horn!) I recall that I orgasmed very quickly as I was a little concerned about being caught!

The need for sex toys?

A number of my partners have been quite happy with just my oral, hand and penile stimulation of their clitoris and vagina, and I believe they have orgasmed at least once on most sexual sessions.

One partner could only orgasm if she had her vibrator going as well, but generally she did not enjoy sex.

Another partner really enjoyed all sexual activity and readily orgasmed, but she also had no idea how to pleasure herself. I even bought her a vibrator, but she advised that it only got her frustrated so she stopped using it.

One of the lasses I was with used to like to play with herself whilst she watched TV. She'd sit with her feet up on the coffee table, one hand down her underpants and the other usually clutching a cigarette or a coffee. She'd withdraw her hand from her pants every so often and sniff her fingers, then slide her hand back down and continue to stroke herself. Whilst she would do this even whilst I was sitting beside her, she got very self-conscious if I watched or made any comment.

Apart from the usual vibrators, one lady found that her electric toothbrush was really good in getting to "those hard to reach" places! (If you get what I mean?)

One partner enjoyed everything about sex, and if it had been a while she had a special hose that she attached to the tap on her spa bath which she used to squirt her clitoris with. I guess you could say she gave herself a good hosing down?

Intercourse

Another partner could only come if she was straddling me and moving in such a way that her clitoris rubbed up and down on my pubic bone.

One lass had such strong vaginal muscles that if I didn't have a full erection she could squeeze my penis back out of her. She loved sex, but only on her terms. I believe she uses sex as a tool because she likes to feel she is in control (of everything!). She happily considers and also partakes in affairs.

More than one of the partners I have had were happy to partake in sexual activity, but they had no idea what to do and just lay there letting me do whatever to them.

Oral sex - giving

A couple of the partners I'd been with had never received oral sex before I ravaged their clitoris with my tongue. One was so embarrassed that she tried to pull me away by my hair. She continued to feel guilty about receiving pleasure this way the whole time we were together. The other was so unused to sex feeling good that she took a couple of hours to relax enough to orgasm. 

A number of my partners were not at all interested in oral sex. I think it was mainly motivated by "if you don't do that to me, I won't have to do it to you!".

Oral sex - receiving

Of the partners I've been with that are interested in oral sex, only one was not interested in swallowing! As we'd had the discussion about this before, I never put her through the need to go running to spit anything out! The other partners I've received oral sex from have ranged from almost mechanical (like they read a book about what to do) through enthusiastic and eager to relieve me (and perhaps have their protein drink for the day?) to loving and genuinely interested in exploring this as another part of me.

One partner wanted to know how much effect she was having on me and used to do such things as waiting for me to be talking on the phone with my boss and then proceed to drop my pants and stimulate me orally. She used to walk away disinterested when the phone call finished. 

Comment

There is nothing more satisfying than being with a loving partner, genuinely and openly enjoying each other. Filling each of the senses with the sensations of the other person. Exploring, being explored. kissing, holding.... You get the picture?

If your partner has been abused, you can try to help, but may find that they are scarred for life and your sex life will never become all it could and should be.

You may find that someone is totally compatible with you, and then you get to be sexual with them only to find they are like a cold fish, or can only "do it' when the lights are off. If you can learn to have open and honest conversation "in the bedroom" and maybe a bit of fun and a laugh, there's a chance that you might be able to get things to also be compatible sexually. You will need to be comfortable with yourself (and your partner with themself too), and you may have to ask directly, or show each other what works for you.