Chapter 1
First Encounter
First days are always pretty hairy, especially if it's the first day of the first year high school, then it's really scary. Skinna arrived early to his first homeroom, partly due to the fact that he couldn't find anyone to hang out with, and he was too shit scared to do much else. He rocked up to the room, quickly noticed he was the tallest by far, the class was only about ½ full, and he only knew three faces, but they weren't really quite that friendly.

He sat to one side of the class, looking around at the new faces, checking them out. There were the usual 'cool' kids up the back, then the squares right up the front, then the normal people in the middle. During the day one person in particular got the bulk of his attention, her name was Alyssa. She was about 5'4"ish, medium length, shimmering red hair, and had the cutest face Skinna had ever seen, 'God must have been generous the day he made her!' he said to himself.

She seemed like the shy type, she didn't talk much in class, just did her own thing. Her friends however were different their names were Jodi and Libby. Jodi was quite the opposite of Skinna, she was short and stocky, and as far as Skinna knew, she was a nice person, she also did some sort of self defense, so she knew how to handle people. Libby was the tallest of the trio (Jodi, Alyssa and herself) and according to popular demand, was also the hottest. She was sort of the allocated leader of the bunch, and seemed like she had her nose up just a bit too high. She and Jodi were always talking in class, making jokes and laughing. At the end of the day, Skinna went home slightly bewildered by school and all its characters, but mostly by the girl in his class, Alyssa.

Getting acquainted

Skinna soon made a few new mates; the most important one of the bunch at the time was Paul, who was a fellow St. Kilda supporter who also played Aussie rules. Skinna and Paul had the same classes, so naturally they became good mates. Normally they would talk, but more often than not, Skinna would pay more attention to Alyssa.

There was just something about her that made him feel different, he didn't know what it was, why it was, but he did know that it was there, and it was there to stay. He hadn't talked to her yet, he was the nervous type and slightly paranoid also, that would be his first major problem.

Alyssa and Jodi were in most of his classes. They both played the piano in music, Skinna used to sit listening to Alyssa play the piano, she probably wasn't all that good, but it was good enough for Skinna. They both exchanged small talk on occasions, "hey", "hi, how ya going" ect. But even that made Skinna's heart kick up a gear; it was now obvious to him that he had a crush on her.

His head hit the pillow, a thousand thoughts shot through his mind, 99% of which consisted of Alyssa, he had never felt this way about anyone before, not even his girlfriend back in yr 7. He thought of how sweet she was and how cute she was, he felt like he would do anything for her, he would probably even kill for her. He had a hard time getting to sleep that night but when he did he had a dream about her; they were on a beach, walking, holding hands. Talking and laughing... that's all that Skinna wanted, a nice girl to be with, not just sex buddies, someone he could sit down, relax, have fun with and just enjoy being with. It would all be good, but her friends were the problem, he didn't realize that he hated them already.

Fast forward to Term 2, Week 7 (or thereabouts)

During the course of the year Skinna had fallen even more head over heals for Alyssa, it stopped short of an obsession though. He also became friends with Jodi and Libby to a lesser extent, regularly passing notes in class to them.

One Friday afternoon, Skinna and Paul were sitting in Social Edd, they both decided that they should tell Alyssa that he had a crush on her; Paul had known this for a while. As always, Skinna did a plan in his head, and that came easy due to the fact that his brain worked faster than normal, that being the reason he always stuttered, he was told this by his speech therapist. But his plan never got a chance to be put into action, as usual… during the class, they passed notes to Jodi and Libby, as they normally do, but some of the notes contained some stuff that they wouldn't normally say. Along the lines of "Skinna likes someone." It was agreed that at the end of the lesson, Skinna would fess up and say who he liked. The end of the lesson came way too quickly for Skinna who, on his way out the door, told Jodi that he had a crush on Alyssa. The single biggest mistake of his life so far.

He thought he could trust them to keep it under the table so to speak, but they had other plans.

Walking back to homeroom, Alyssa walked up to Skinna and asked; "Did you really ask me out?" Skinna absolutely shat himself and in the confusion, blurted out "it was all Paul's idea" we went all red and started to walk faster, Alyssa went back to Jodi and Libby who had already told the 'cool group' that he had asked out Alyssa. Now they were too materialistic, so they didn't think she was worthy enough, but that's where Skinna lost their line of thought, he cared about the person on the inside, the outside was just a bonus.

Only minutes into homeroom, it seemed like the whole world knew, they were all laughing behind Skinna's back (and probably Alyssa's too) and taunting him, he felt like shit, no, lower than shit. He went home in a sea of rage with a bit of helplessness thrown in. Over the next few weeks, he couldn't escape the torrent of taunts and laughter that seemed to await him around every corner. All due to Libby… from that day on, he vowed that he would kill Libby, kill her for what she had done.

The teenage mind is a scary place, most decisions are made based on popularity and being the top dog, so something that made people laugh at the expense of others is a cool thing to do. Which makes the victims feel like things just aren't worth it and the assailants more popular. Some decide to give in and give up. Others, like Skinna, kept trotting along, Always a sucker for an angel.

(The rest of the story is made up, but the above is so closely based on actual events it's not funny all real apart from the last sentence, we've (sort of) put all that behind us now - Skinna)

Time Heals

Year 10, Term 3, Week 10.

At last Skinna was on the straight and narrow. Now in year 10 he had sorted the nagging problems that had hindered him for the last two and a half years. He was now a good mate of a few well respected people, it was hard to find someone who didn't like the guy, but there were a few standouts that were closer. Sian, who he had known since year 9. She was the straight up and down girl; always put her emotions on her sleeve. Skinna could trust her, a lot, most of his worries went straight to Sian, and she was always there for him. Tegan was also a very close friend, in the beginning Skinna didn't feel at ease about going to Tegan with is problems, but just liked her for the mate she was. But as they moved along, they became quite close, he would gladly take a knock for Tegan, as he would for any of his other mates, Kate rounded out the quartet, the wild child out of the three girls. Always looking for a party to go to, and boys to hook up with. But she, as everyone, had a soft side that centered on friends and family.

They all admired Skinna, not for his looks, but because of the person he had become. He was a nice, straight forward Aussie bloke, not afraid to speak his mind, always there to help a mate. All of the girls liked Skinna, almost everyone did, but one girl like him better that the others, but he would not find this out until much later. And neither would she.



Re-opened scars

Skinna was sitting around one Thursday lunchtime, having some food, and enjoying the last week before the 1 week holiday that separates term 3 and 4, and just chilling out, because he had no more work to do, he was off to Adelaide for a few weeks on Friday morning.

Towards the end of lunch, he felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned to see Alyssa, one of the last people he would have expected to see, especially after what happened a few years back. Since that fateful day, they had never talked, almost never made eye contact with Alyssa. But that's not to say that Skinna had never thought of her, he still liked her more than anything else, but now he couldn't let the world know on account of the ridicule of years past

"Hey Skinna" she spoke softly, "do you mind if we go for a walk?" Skinna looked around the tables; no one was paying attention, so he thought 'what the hell.' He had become very paranoid of his interactions with Alyssa, even if he made eye contact with her he would quickly look around to see if anyone noticed, in the back of his mind he knew that no one cared, but it didn't matter, he was still jumpy about it.

Yeah mate, I'll tag along" he said standing up, "that's cool then" she replied, looking over his shoulder, and seeming to nod to someone, then looked down at the ground like she had done something bad was about to happen, Skinna looked behind himself, but saw almost the exact same scene as he had seen mere moments before.

"So mate, where are we walking to?" Skinna asked Alyssa, "I was thinking out the back of lab 2, behind the stairs, how's that?" the remoteness of the location suggested something was going happen. "yeah, that's fine with m…" before he had a chance to finish Alyssa held his hand, "Ok… this is getting too good to be true" his mind screamed in his ear, causing temporal deafness. He hand seemed rather wet with sweat, "nervous" he told himself, then relised how much he actually talked to himself. "They say that the first sign of madness is talking to you… Shut up!" Skinna got up and started to walk off with Alyssa

Skinna looked over at her, and for a brief moment she smiled, the first time he had seen her smile since year 8… but as quick as it came, the smile was gone, but Alyssa came closer to whisper something to his ear, but stopped halfway, "Is there anyone who might notice you've gone?" She asked in a hushed tone. "No one I can think of mate" Skinna said looking behind him, to see no one. "Whys that?" "No reason" she quickly said, looking away.

They made small chat while they were walking, the kind that two un-easy friends would. Alyssa eventually said, "Over there, on top of those stairs." The stairs she was referring to were a set of steel-grated steps behind a science lab. A nice and shady spot under a tamrin tree. There didn't seem to be anyone there, which was unusual because there was usually a pack of year 9's who hung around there of a lunch. Alyssa walked up and sat down on the top step, Skinna joined her a second later, only after looking over his shoulder. "Well… I guess now that I've dragged you all the way here; I might as well tell you what I have to say"

"Back in year 8, when you asked me out, the only reason said no was because I didn't think you were serious about it, I have been toyed with and ridiculed, I didn't mean to hurt you at all, from what your friends say, you are a very nice bloke, and personally…" She looked down for a split second, before looking back up at Skinna, looking him straight in the eye. "I want a second chance, I'm really sorry what happened, I want to set things right again, and I think by doing this it brings me closer to filling up the gap that has been in I'm sure both of our life's since that day." Alyssa reached over held Skinna's hand, Skinna wasn't sure if it was his or her hand that was so sweaty, maybe it was both hands. She went to say something else, but he stopped her, "Alyssa, I'm so glad that you feel this way, and I want you to know that I did love you at one stage." He looked over her shoulder, but strangely enough a slight smile spread across her face. Judging by his comment, he would have expected a frown. "As for now, I still love you. I think about you everyday, I want to spend all my time with you, everything I said about you is true, I want to be with you so bad, I…" Alyssa cut Skinna short by mouthing 'I'm so sorry'

This put off Skinna, and made him paused in mid sentence. That pause was enough for him to hear the suppressed laughs coming from beneath the stairs. Voices then came from under the steps, "HA HA Skinna, we got you on tape, you are sooo screwed HA HA" he looked down instantly only too see Libby there, along with here followers, Jodi was there, as well as a few new recruits that Skinna recognized. And in Libby's right hand, she held a video camera; one that had just captured Skinna lay down his feelings for Alyssa. "If you thought year 8 was bad, its gunna get a whole lot worse!" Jodi yelled up at him, an evil smirk on her face.

The group walked up the stairs, past Skinna with laughs and sniggers. Skinna looked over at Alyssa, she was in tears. She tried to speak the words 'I'm sorry'; but they didn't come out, she dropped her head, quickly stood up, and walked away behind the group.

History Repeats

Not 10 minutes after Skinna was caught, the video camera that had recorded him was being aired to whoever would watch, which would be almost everyone, and it would usually end is hysterics and tears of laughter, but there were tears elsewhere at that time, and not of joy either. The other tears came with a sense of deaja vu.

Skinna sat still at the top of the stairs, "What a fuckin idiot Skinna… why didn't ya see that one coming… why? Why did she..." he hoped so much that someone came around the corner. He needed someone to confide in, but not having the energy or will to stand up and walk; he would just have to wait for someone to come to him.

"Hey there Romeo" came a voice through the sadness of his thoughts, "Some sweet words you had back there… too bad they fell on deaf ears, hold on, no they didn't, we all had a good laugh out of it" Skinna knew it was Libby by the sound of her voice, slightly slower than everyone else's, hardly recognizable, but there none the less. "Oh common, grow some balls kid, it's all just fun". "You finished Libby? Or are you gunna stay here all day and gloat?" "Well, the thought was there… oh and by the way, Alyssa is having a good ol' laugh at it too, talk to ya later princess"

Libby turned and started to walk off but stopped before she was out of Skinna's earshot. "What are you doin here?"… Skinna heard his name mentioned… "And is there any reason why you wanna talk with this loser? Are you feeling… are you crying?" whoever it was, they were crying, which narrowed it down to less than a handful of people, one to be exact. "Ok, fine, don't let me stop you…" Libby's footsteps continued off into the distance.

Face to Face

Deep in his thoughts, Skinna didn't hear her walk up until she put a hand on his shoulder, "Skinna, I just want to say that I am so, so sor…" "Alyssa," Skinna started, "you knew what you were getting into, you knew what was going to happen" He turned to her; "You…" Skinna paused, her eyes were probably more bloodshot then his own. He stopped and turned back around and started to stare into he distance, "Please, just leave me… please" Alyssa's hand came of Skinna's shoulder and she walked off.

"I couldn't believe what was happening; I had agreed to be the protagonist in this little 'practical joke' turned public humiliation. Just the site of Skinna, sitting there, all by himself… it cut me up inside. I had noticed his eyes, there weren't bloodshot but in stark contrast to the beautiful deep blue eyes I saw when we were walking up to the spot, now they were gray, barren, lifeless eyes. He had asked me to leave, I turned and walked, I couldn't do anything else, all I had done to him today, and also the last few years, the least I could do was listen to what he wanted. I was walking back to where we all hung out, but I bumped into Sian and Tegan. Sian asked me where Skinna was, I told them, "and you better hope that Skinna wants you alive..." Sian said as she turned. Tegan continued to stare me down, I was almost expecting a blood vessel to explode in her head she was that mad. I continued walking, "Tegan… Tegan! Hurry up!" Sian called, without taking her eye off me she took a handful of steps back, then turned, and walked. "What have I done?!"

Chapter2
Chapter 2

"Why are you doing this Alyssa? Did Skinna talk to you? What did he say?"

"Shut up Libby!" Alyssa spat, "Its all your fault Im doing this, if you didn't talk me into setting Skinna up like that, it would all be good, you've heard the rumors haven't you?" rumors were goin around that Skinna had killed himself over what had happened the week before,
"I still don't care why you care about him, and you know that you don't because if you did, you wouldn't have gone through with this." Now this made Alyssa think about it for a second, then replied; "Well, I do like him, and because I know what ive done, its why Im here!" she looked down from the roof of the building, it was over 2 stories, high enough to kill someone who jumped off. Now Alyssa was standing at the edge of the building, just behind the short 4-foot railing, Libby was standing about 2 meters behind her,
"Look, Im off to get wasted, are you coming or what?"
"You just don't get it do you!? What makes you think that I want to be around you after what you've made me do? And why don't you think il jump off?" Libby sighed and took a step back.
"I don't want you to jump, Im your friend pleas understand that, it seems as I don't care because of the drugs I'm on" Alyssa snuffed a laugh, "Please don't do it Alyssa, I mean it"
"You can't stop me, I don't care about you anymore, fuck off before I do it in front of you eyes!" Libby walked off, and down the fire escape.

"Alyssa, don't do it" came a familiar voice from behind air conditioning vent,
"W-who's that? Alyssa said, turning around to look, at night the rooftop was very dark, the only light came from the red Target sign on the opposite side of the roof.
"Its Skinna mate, why don't we have a chat?" Skinna said, stepping out into the red neon glow and walking slowly towards Alyssa. Libby was long gone, and neither of the saw him sneak up after them both when Alyssa ran out of the shopping center and onto the roof. And now that Libby was gone without seeing Skinna, it scared her, what if he was still as angry as he was the day she last saw him, he could kill her now and it would all look like suicide, giving him something for nothing.

"Don't come any closer Skinna, I mean it" Skinna continued towards her, "Skinna please, what are you going to do?" he was at the railing now. He lent over onto it, and looked away.
"Did you see that movie mate, agh what was it called, that big ship goin down on its maiden voyage… anyway, you know what il talking bout right?" Alyssa nodded, still confused as to what Skinna was getting at, and why he was here. "The woman who was gunna jump of the back, She didn't, are you?" Alyssa just looked at him
"And they were the big words that are going to save my life? You might wanna try harder than that…" "Well go on, jump then, right here right now, jump off and kill yourself. Go head first, its quicker that way" Skinna mumbled as he turned to her, and extended his hand out.
"It's not going to work, this isn't a movie! You had your chanc-" Alyssa suddenly stopped, let go of the railing and clutched her head, by doing so losing her balance, drifting forward, over the edge, and falling down to the carpark below her.

"I looked up after I started to fall, and saw stars, from the moment I started falling, I knew I didn't want to do this, it was a mistake, there was still too many things I had going for me, it was too late, I couldn't move my arms or legs, I shut my eyes, hoping the end to be quick"


"The most intense pain shot through my shoulder, what? My shoulder? My eyes shot open, the stars were blocked from view, all I could see was darkness, I felt like I was floating in blackness, but with my shoulder burning with pain, I knew I was alive.
"-each out your other ha-"
"I got yo-"
"-Don't let go-" Voices floated through my head, I couldn't tell her or where they were coming from, my head was seemingly lost, memories flooded, family picnics, sisterly fights, shopping, all was invading my mind, what had happened? Is this death, I felt a hard surface hit hard against my back, then nothing, was that my fall coming to a crashing end? Had I hit the ground, I could feel nothing, see nothing, thoughts stopped, silence engulfed me. "So this is death?"

Chapter 3

Monologue

"Alyssa was alive, she never hit the ground. The way things panned out is I managed to grab her arm as she fell, a hell of a lunge if you ask me but it didn't do her shoulder any good, but anyway, I pulled her back over the railing, although she did fall to the roof quite heavily. Hospital records say that she only suffered a dislocated shoulder, acute migraines due to a slight fall the previous day and assorted cuts and bruises. Blood tests report that she had been drinking, accounting for her irrational behavior, along with slight depression, traced to peer pressure. The police had been called, a late night shopper had heard a scream and made the call. Of course I was nowhere to be seen, I made sure Alyssa was ok, checked her pulse, breathing ect, and rolled her onto her side before fleeing. Libby had gone to the party and left Alyssa on her own with suicidal thoughts, the news that she had been admitted to hospital rocked her, but upon hearing for what reason, the burden was seemingly lifted and no more was thought about it."

"The newspaper stated that Alyssa was "hanging out " by herself on the roof when she had slipped and caught the railing and managed to pull herself up and over, but how she could do this while in the midst of a mental blackout eludes me."

Open eyes

"Alyssa, yes, um she's in 16C, to your left and up the corridor" the nurse said pointing to a well lit corridor. "Thank you very much, have a good night," Skinna said starting to walk towards the room.
"Oh, I hope she likes the flowers young man!" the nurse called from her desk. He smiled and looked at the flowers, an assortment of natural Australian flowers and other wildflowers, all hand picked. He hoped she liked them too. The door to the room was open, and no family were present, always a good thing. Visiting hours were well over, it was around 10pm, and the hours were 10am to 4pm, Skinna had managed to talk the nurse into letting him go and see a friend. 'The Godwin Charm' his dad called it.

The room was nice and cozy, a warm finish of cream colored paint made the room feel much bigger than it really was. Magazines were strewn over a small bedside table. The TV was on, but Alyssa was sleeping, an obviously shallow sleep. Skinna walked up and switched off the TV, making her stir, and sat down on the chair next to the bed, the chair was still warm, so someone had only just left it.
"Alyssa, its Skinna mate, please, stay there, it's alright, I just came to see how you're going."
"Skinna, w-what are you doing here" she asked, still slightly groggy from her sleep.
"How you holding up mate? Is the shoulder alright?" Skinna said in a sympathetic tone.
"You didn't answer my question…"
"I just wanted to see how your going, well, more importantly I wanted to see what you remember about what happened on the roof the other day. Because I don't believe the newspaper." Alyssa giggled; "Skinna," she began, looking in his eyes, "I said all that because I didn't want to get you involved in the whole thing, so I lied and said it was all my doing, which partly due to the alcohol was my fault. Libby hasn't differed the events, so it stands as the story. I didn't think you were the sort of person to want to be a public hero… but that doesn't mean your not one." In the dark, she couldn't see Skinna blush. "I uh, I-" Skinna stammered, "I couldn't let you fall, no way in hell, you are right about me not wanting to be know as a hero, but I'm not one by any stretch of the imagination."
"You're my hero Skinna, that's not imaginary." Skinna blushed again, and his heart missed a beat

He picked up the flowers and gave them to her, it was the only thing he could think of doing. Alyssa held out her hand to grab the flowers, but missed the wrapper and got Skinna's hand instead. It froze them both to the spot.

"I uh, got these or you mate" he said as he placed them on her lap, but moved his hand so he could hold hers. "Skinna-" Alyssa started, "Alyssa, please don't say anything, you don't need to." Skinna interrupted. There was a slight pause. "But you saved my life, I can remember what happened, the moment I started to fall I relised that I didn't want to die, I couldn't save myself. I knew that there was a meaning for me out there, I couldn't figure out what it was, you caught me, saved my life… in more ways than one" déjà vu gripped Skinna, it reminded him of what she said to him at school, the meaningless and hollow comments. Surely she wouldn't go to these lengths to set him up again, besides, it felt much more real this time. A moment passed, the real world came back to a flustered skinna, "Do your parents know the truth?" Alyssa giggled to herself again, "No one apart from us know, I will tell mum when the time is right."

Skinna, with an extraordinary ability to wreck the tenderest of moments, looked at his watch. "I uh, gota go, you look like you need a bit of sleep too." He stood up and leaned over and kissed Alyssa on the forehead, in her mind more than making up for the sudden departure, "I'll be in touch mate, take care" He whispered in her ear. He didn't want to let go of her hand, it felt that it would truly break the moment. But when the potential mother-in-law entered the room, both hands dropped like iron claws. Small talk was exchanged before Skinna left the room.

"Who was that?" the mother asked Alyssa. "He is the person who saved my life mum; I'll explain it to you…"

This story is a fictional story, any likness to actual people is purely coincidental