Insurance doctors
In the same month the insurance company sent me to see one of there doctors, I remember all the other patients in the waiting room were there for vasectomies and I wondered why I had been sent to see this doctor. When I was called into his room he immediately asked me to undress which I did leaving my underpants on, he said take them off so I did (at this point I still trusted doctors), he asked me to sit and asked me about the accident and my injuries, etc. he asked me to stand then came and stood behind me, he asked me to bend over which I did, then he asked me where the pain in my back was so I showed him, he then without warning pushed his fingers hard exactly on the worst area. My back cramped severely, I yelled out in pain and collapsed onto my knees, he started yelling at me “does this happen all the time?” when my back stopped cramping and the pain eased slightly I got to my feet and asked if I could get dressed. He said no I still have more questions and proceeded to ask the same questions over again. Eventually I was allowed to get dressed and leave. I had never experienced anything like this before, I was extremely angry, when I got home I immediately got on the phone to tell my lawyer, he said the only thing I could do was complain to the AMA, but that if I did I could be sued for defamation and as it was my word against the doctors if they took the doctors side I would have to pay him compensation.
I also saw another insurance company doctor and he at least ordered more scans and didn't treat me too badly, but when I received his report it stated because there was no definite cause of pain shown on the x-ray’s and scans that my pain might be non-organic i.e. all in my head. In one part of his report he suggested because it had taken 7 months before I had a CT scan on my back that this was proof I did not suffer from back pain until months after the accident (as you will read the delay was caused by doctors and I complained of back pain on the day of the accident). Then in another part of the report he says the spinal surgeon I saw stated in his report he had seen x-rays of my lower back taken on 23/10/95 so that I may have had pain then. In his last report he stated I did not appear to be in as much pain, but then notes “he was pale” as you will read I get paler or whiter as my pain increases.

Getting angry
By this time my anger had increased so much I kept thinking about revenge, I remember thinking once I had got some sort of settlement, or at least exhausted all efforts to gain compensation, that I would give the money to my wife and then find the doctor from the pain unit, and the insurance doctor who had tortured me and hit them in the back with a hammer, so at least for a few weeks, they felt what it was like to have severe pain in their back, and then go find the person who was handling my case at the insurance company and blow myself and them up.
Thankfully my local GP sent me to see a local Psychiatrist who understood my anger and agreed with me that the pain was not there simply because I thought about it, as the head of the pain unit and the 2nd insurance doctor had suggested. She could see the colour of my face change as the pain increased from sitting, so she new my pain was physical not mental. She allowed me to lie on the floor for the rest of my visits and with her help I refocused on getting better.
By now I had once again convinced myself I would beet my back pain and get better and my wife and I had agreed we would have two children so in November of 1997 my wife fell pregnant with our second child.

Pain test
My wife has also always been able to see how much pain I am in, because the more the pain increases the whiter or greyer my face becomes. I can not understand why there is no standard test to differentiate between people suffering real pain and those “faking it” surely by using the change of skin colour and other physical characteristics some sort of test could be done. It seems every back pain sufferer is taken to be exaggerating the pain, or faking it by doctors under the current system, unless there is definite proof of the origin of the pain. I’m constantly amazed by people suggesting back pain is not as bad as a “bad knee” etc..