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Alternate treatments
Over the years I have tried every treatment or medication I have seen advertised or heard about, while some may work for some people there are a lot of “rip offs” out there. Be very careful when choosing a treatment, never sign contracts for long term treatment and try to talk to people who have already had the treatment or medication first. Look out for treatments which cost a lot or require payment prior to treatment in my experience these are all rip off’s.
Must do’s
I did the exercises and hydrotherapy from the day I was told to, I pushed myself every day to keep it up as it made my pain worse, but I’m very glad I did, although it didn't help me at least I know in my mind I did everything I could have to help myself. It also helped me mentally when I read the pain clinics reports which stated I spent all day lying down and didn’t do any exercise or hydrotherapy, and this was the reason I was still in pain. Of course the report was totally false but if I hadn’t have done all that exercise it would have meant that I was to blame and that would have been very hard to live with.
So if you are ever hurt make sure you do all the exercises you are instructed to, push yourself to do the exercises everyday even if like me they increase your pain and make sure there are witnesses.
For fellow back pain sufferers I highly recommend doing stretches before you get out of bed every morning, in particular bringing one knee up as close to your head as you can whilst lying down with knee bent (keeping other leg straight) then doing the same with your other leg and also straight leg stretches. There is also an exercise called an “angry cat stretch” which you do while on hands and knees on the floor, you should also strengthen your stomach and do pelvic floor exercises.
I find heat packs to be very useful for making muscles relax, so if like me you suffer from back cramps, I recommend placing a heat pack on your back for 20 minutes at a time or if you can afford a massage chair use the heater in that. I highly recommend the zero gravity chairs you can buy at leading retail stores electrical departments which include 10 massage motors and a heater and can be purchased for as little as $400.00 when on special.
Partners
As you have read I am very lucky to have an understanding and supportive wife who has stayed with me through very trying times, even though at times my anger and depression must have made me a horrible person to live with.
I would advise being very honest with your partner, don't try to hide your pain from them and try to be open and talk through your problems with them. At least if they leave you after you have been honest and open with them, this should help you because you will know you did all you could to keep them in your life.
Make sure you tell them every day that you love them and remind them that even if you raise your voice in anger it is not their fault. And let them know how much you appreciate them being there for you. I know from my experience it is hard to continually moan to them about how much pain you are in so I would recommend working out a set of words to let your partner know how bad your pain level is.
My wife and I have agreed to use the following words so she knows my pain level:
“Ok” I use this when I am in my everyday level of pain.
“not good” I use these words when my pain level is increased and I need to rest.
“Bad” this means I am in a horrible amount of pain and can not do anything (most times my wife already knows because of the colour of my face.
It becomes very hard to have a social life together when one partner suffers from severe pain, firstly because like me the pain sufferer will avoid large gatherings of people because there are always some people at these gatherings who want to upset you or love picking on people and its easier to avoid the aggravation. Also it is not always possible to take a “zero gravity chair”, then of course there are other days when your pain level is too high to go anywhere. My wife sometimes complains that people will think she is single because she’s always alone when she goes out, but this is hard to avoid. Try to go somewhere together or do something together outside of the house whenever you can. If you are the partner of a pain sufferer don’t blame them for not being able to go out, and try to help protect them from places and people who will upset them.
I have had to cancel going out to dinner or going somewhere with friends a number of times and its not my fault, sometimes you do everything you can to rest and prepare yourself to go somewhere but when the day arrives you are in serious pain and just can’t do it. Sex can be a problem for anyone who suffers from severe back pain as the movement required can make the pain worse, after having sex I believe you should not complain about your pain level to your partner as this can make them feel guilty for wanting it, and therefore cause problems in your sex life. Perhaps you should discuss this once with your partner just so they know but don‘t complain every time and be sure to let your partner know you still enjoy the experience. I would recommend experimenting with positions to find a few that don’t aggravate your pain as much.
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